Martin Jol: 'Even I'm not that interested in Fulham'

Perennial nothing club Fulham, set to float around aimlessly in mid-table once again this season, have been a dealt a blow after a revealing Martin Jol interview with Dutch TV station Jol TV.

Jol made a series of slightly offensive remarks towards his employers in an interview that was broadcast on late Saturday evening in the primetime Jol TV slot, which was previously occupied by Jol Street, a drama following the lives of Jol families from across the Netherlands.

Mohamed Al-Fayed with the scarcely-believable statue in question

In the interview, Jol was quoted as saying: "To be honest, even I'm not that interested in the club (Fulham). When they built the statue of Michael Jackson I thought it was all a big joke- but they were being deadly serious about everything. I realised I couldn't take this job seriously anymore and that's when I signed Hugo Rodallega. He couldn't score in a brothel and everybody knows it, but for some reason no-one realised it was literally a joke signing.

"I was getting pats on the back and calls of congratulations. Certainly it was a bizarre time."

A Fulham spokesperson has revealed that the club are 'disappointed' with Jol's remarks but have said that on this occasion they are prepared to give their manager 'the benefit of the doubt'.

The reluctance to criticise their manager, or even release any sort of strongly-worded statement, arises from both a crippling club culture of total apathy and the fact that Jol has already claimed that he was 'misquoted' in the interview, which was conducted entirely in English and broadcast worldwide in it's entirety.

After being shown the exact moment when Jol clearly stated 'I don't even like Fulham' amongst various other derogatory remarks, the club's press officer Neil Wilson responded with a yawn and a slight shrug, before mumbling something about the X-Factor and drifting into a deep sleep.

'Blood Slasher' (left) and 'Metal Hands Harry' (right), commonly regarded as the club's wildest and most dangerous fans, share a flask of tea and discuss the best way to cook a meat and potato pie from scratch.

Club Chairman Shahid Kahn was unavailable for comment after a request from Pies and Bovril, with his personal assistant only revealing that he was too busy eating Ready Salted crisps and listening to Coldplay on medium volume to be interviewed.