Sunday, 23 December 2012

Armstrong Disgraced

Original Date of Article: 27th August 2012

Former national hero Lance Armstrong was disgraced today after the UADA published their findings on Armstrong's string of anti-doping offences during his battle against cancer. In a controversial move, Armstrong has been stripped of his good health and ordered to contract cancer immediately.

The move comes after a 17 year investigation by the UADA, which many onlookers believed only focused on Armstrong's famous drug use in cycling. However, after a string of Twitter rumours this afternoon, the UADA were forced to come out and confirm Armstrong's lifetime ban from life.

RIDDLED: Armstrong at the height of his anti-cancer drug use

Buck-Buck Landis, spokesperson for the UADA described Armstrong's anti-cancer drug use as 'heinous', 'cowardly' and 'cheating.' The comments came in sharp contrast to the previous statement on Armstrong's drug use in cycling, which heralded his 'impressive will to win', adding 'at least he tried to cover it up.'

Armstrong himself refused to formally challenge the rulings. In a responding statement released today, he said 'I have been dealing with claims that I cheated and had an unfair advantage in beating my cancer since 1999. Everybody else is doing it anyway, so why should it matter? I was out of my mind on drugs in most Tours, they don't seem bothered about that.'


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