Sunday, 30 December 2012

Sir Garth Crooks?

Garth Crooks has today left the world of football journalism reeling after spectacularly commenting that in the Championship, 'anybody can beat anybody.'

Crooks, interviewed after giving a motivational speech to budding sports journalists, made the astonishing assumption prior to bottom-club Peterborough's surprise win over table-toppers Cardiff. Upon hearing Crooks' comment, Peterborough players were reportedly 'amazed' at the development and duly recorded an impressive 2-1 victory.

Posh captain Gabriel Zakuani noticed the comment hours before kick-off and was on hand to spread the word to the rest of the team. “I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw it” enthused Zakuani. “All the lads were fully prepared to go there and just make up the numbers, as you do, but when a globally-respected football pundit like Garth Crooks makes a comment like that, well it really opens your eyes.”

AB FOR ENGLAND? GARTH THINKS SO

It was a glorious return to form for Crooks after embarrassing recent calls for James Morrison, 23 caps for Scotland, and Lilian Thuram, 142 caps for France and retired as of four years ago, to make Roy Hodgson's latest England squad. Crooks subsequently managed to save face by claiming he had been 'misquoted' by various media outlets after The Sun claimed he had also demanded an England call-up for South African batsman AB de Villiers.

But after his most recent comment, sources suggest that he is well-placed for an MBE in the Queens' New Years Honours List. One said: “Garth is highly-thought of in Buckingham Palace. He is seen as a role model to aspiring journalists and comments like this won't harm his chances of a knighthood at all.”

The possibility of a knighthood for Crooks has rounded off a stellar year for BBC journalists. Popular character Robbie Savage became a key member of the team with his cutting-edge analysis and calm, thoughtful demeanor  whilst perennial favourite Steve Claridge added to his already burgeoning reputation with some high-quality analysis throughout the year. They included him forecasting Manchester City's title win moments after Sergio Aguero's title-winning goal, predicting that Barcelona 'have enough about them' to secure a top two finish and his unforgettable analysis of Liverpool's controversial zonal marking system.

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